To #3 or to not #3

And by number 3........ I totally mean adding another kiddo to the family. I can't believe I just put it out there like that. As always, I am conflicted. Here are the thoughts running through my head, in no particular order

My kiddos are getting so big. Kait will be 4 and LJ will 2 be in April. They are walking and talking and Kaitlyn acts like she Will be a legal adult soon.

I miss snugly baby time.

I miss being pregnant

I miss feeling a baby kick

3 kids would mean buying a bigger vehicle....even...dare I say, a minivan *gasp!*

3 kids would mean 5 more years of daycare

I love the delivery. Granted I never had a real delivery just c-sections but I do LOVE L.O.V.E those first few days..even if it was terribly stressful with a heart baby. There is just something about that newness...that feeling of brand new.

I loved my ob and midwife.

I would have to find a new OB and midwife since my insurance has changed.

I have to worry about having enough paid leave. Geez, grad school was great in that respect.

What if it is another heart baby.

How will my family/friends feel who have been trying like crazy to have JUST one and here I am trying to have a third?

Do I really want to give up sleeping at night?

How will we arrange the kids in their rooms? one would have to share with the baby and from experience, kid + baby in the same room was not always easy.

Traveling with three, especially a baby, makes it hard.

We want to start vacationing with the kids.

But LJ is my baby.......I look at him and see my little baby and I am not sure I am ready to give that title away. How can I take that from him?

Kait is an amazing sister and LJ LOVES babies.

Some days I feel like two kids are enough and I feel soooo complete.

Some days I feel like I have so much more love to give...I know it's there.

We did give away A LOT of our baby items.

we have to travel to see our parents and I feel like a big enough burden having parents bored the four of us....

Who doesn't love a baby?

Back and forth, back and forth. we haven't settled which way to go. I just keep feeling that if I didn't want another it would be a sure thing...that I would just definitely know and this thought of baby #3 wouldn't' keep creeping up...but so many reservations....