I was "that" Mom

Hubby got a nice surprise bonus at work. Off we went to the local Mexican restaurant that we have been going to for years. When we started having kids, they would take them and walk them around the place so we could eat. They tend to hand them free things like candy or food. It is a good place and we enjoy going. Out kids PIG OUT on the rice and the chip with cheese dip. It really is a special treat for them. Like any respectable Mexican restaurant they have candy for sale in the front. If the Kait is good, she gets a piece (LJ isn't quite old enough yet but he has been known to sneak a few bites of my peppermint patty). There, the scene has been set....and some of you know where this is going.

If any of you ever had/have small children, you know that eating out can go incredibly well or incredibly not. Kait, like most 3.5 year olds who are excited, does not sit still very well. She was getting up and out of her chair and I kept reminding her to remain in her seat. So I did it, the warning "get out of your chair again, and you get no candy (laffy taffy)." I told her to look at me and said again " I am repeating this because it is important. Get out of your seat again and NO CANDY!." There, the rule was set and I was going to have to follow through, something that takes a lot of will power for me to do because, let's face it, I love making my kids happy.

About 3 minutes goes by and that girl was out of her seat. "Remember what I had said? You are now out of your seat. No Candy!!."

Enter hysterics. The lip comes out, tears well up and that long initial draw of a cry starts. "But I want candy." Stick to your guns.....stick to your guns..... "No 'mam. I said that if you got up, there would be no candy. So, no....no candy." That didn't really fix it. Instead she just started screaming, without a break "I want candy, I want candy, I want candy.." I knew what I had to do.....for the first time EVER I was going to have to remove my child from a public venue to do a tantrum.

That girl fought with all she had. Her little hands grabbed onto that door and seemed to be super glued. I had to remove each and every finger so I could get out the door, the entire time with her screaming and squirming so much I was worried I would end up just dropping her. She screamed the entire way to the car with people on the inside staring out at me... That mom... who can't control her child in public.....who has a spoiled child....who doesn't have her act together....who has a sugar crazed kid..

I placed her in the car (which was no small feat considering she was alike a cat being placed in a bathtub, arms and legs spread out so that she didn't fit through the doorway.), belted her in (in the process having to remove her shoes because she was kicking), and shut the door. I REALLY wanted to sit in the car. It was cold out...but my ears couldn't take it. I would open the door here and there to remind her that if she stopped screaming I would sit in the car with her. She didn't care for that option. Instead I stood by the door watching people walk by seeing my child screaming in the backseat of a car, and me, standing there and doing nothing but letting her get it out. I would smile as they pass, and you know what? I could tell who had child experiences, they smiled back. They knew. I wasn't a horrible mom. My kid is not a spoiled brat. She is not sugar crazed and is probably a pretty darn good kid. What I had was a child under the age of 5. Period. No other explanation needed.

I am the same way. When I see a mom struggling with a child (or several) in public and I can tell she is starting to feel stressed and embarrassed, I flash the "I understand" smile. She smiles back. Like a secret mom handshake.

Know what? That girl slept that night the best she has slept in nearly a week. As parents we felt good knowing that we followed through, she understood she was being reprimanded for her behavior, and overall, it turned out fine.

Have you had this experience? Feel free to share :)