There is a woman that I have known for almost a year. We were put in contact through a mutual friend since I have a child with a heart defect and she was pregnant with a child who also had a heart defect. Those outside of the CHD community don't realize the instant connection a heart mom has with another heart mom. There is just an emotional understanding, something I really don't wish on anyone. We connected first on Facebook (of course, right?). I answered the questions about carrying a baby with a CHD, ultrasounds, delivery options, possibilities. I loved all the updates. Eventually, we were texting. Not much but here and there. The big day came, the baby was born with an uneventful delivery of a handsome BOY! :) A couple days later, baby would be going in for surgery sooner than expected. I made the call to her, our first phone conversation. We laughed about the size of our kiddos (hers was 9 lbs and LJ, 4 weeks early, was 8 lbs). I encouraged her with how much of a fighter her baby was. She was getting ready to go eat - the last text that I got from her. Little did I know her world would change.
The next day I was working in the yard and preparing for a camping trip. Then my phone rang, it was our mutual friend. Baby didn't make it. I was angry. I screamed....cried...admittedly, probably threw a pillow or ten. It was hard. I cried for her. I cried for me. It affected me so deeply but that is not the point of this post. I knew a phone call right now would be inappropriate but I sent a text that I was praying for her. And I did every single day. About 3 days later, there was a reply. "Numb." She didn't have to explain any more than that. I just kept sending daily texts to remind her that I was praying for her. The next few months, well, she is the only one who could really describe it, I won't due it justice. But we texted a lot..so much my husband would comment "you never even met her!." There were actual phone calls mixed in as well.
Then the day came that my phone rang. It was her. Big news.....she is pregnant and completely, 100% terrified. I mean, how could she not be? It wasn't exactly in the plans and she thought it was the worst timing. (Today, I strongly beg to differ, it was perfect timing). There were a lot of emotional struggles. I prayed everyday for God to bring her a healthy baby, not because a baby with a CHD is a terrible thing, but it was important for her not to feel broken. I also prayed for a healthy BOY. Not for a replacement, but again, for a sense of not being broken.
Today, she is a bit more than half way through her pregnancy. The baby - A BOY! And 100% perfect. 100%! The reason I am sharing someone else's story: this woman is one of the strongest women I know. She is a daily inspiration to me. She has been through my worse nightmare and even though she was completely terrified, she is pushing through. She shows the world that her life will never be the same since losing her son. However, a new sense of normal can be found, even if it is unexpectedly.
